Be More Authentic: Create a Life Aligned with Your True Self

In our journey through life, there comes a time when we yearn for something more, something that ignites our passion and fills us with purpose. We imagine waking up each day, excited about the impact we’re making, surrounded by uplifting individuals in an inspiring environment. We crave a life where we feel confident about the future and able to earn an income that allows us to fulfil our deepest desires. So, why do so many of us settle for less?

Society’s Influence on Authenticity

From a young age, we’re bombarded with the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Our answers may have ranged from athletes to astronauts. But as we grow older, societal and cultural factors start shaping our choices. We make decisions based on what others expect from us, succumbing to the pressure of societal norms and our own risk tolerance. We often opt for the “safe” path, abandoning our natural talents and interests in the process.

The Quest for Fulfilment

It’s only natural to wonder if there’s something more fulfilling out there, particularly when it comes to our careers and overall life satisfaction. This longing for change indicates a deep-seated desire for greater fulfilment and personal growth. We embark on a journey of self-discovery, exploring new opportunities that align more closely with our aspirations. Living in alignment with our true selves and core beliefs can be transformative and a profound shift in how we engage with the world around us.

Challenges Being Authentic

Yet, the path to authenticity is not without challenges. Rising living costs, healthcare expenses, education fees, and housing prices add further complexity, often pushing alignment with our core beliefs lower on our priority list. However, it’s crucial to remember that these challenges can be overcome with determination and a commitment to staying true to ourselves.

Unlocking Your Authenticity

In a world where disengagement and unhappiness at work are prevalent, it’s crucial to reassess our approach to decision-making and life choices. By understanding our beliefs, values, and passions, we can make intentional decisions that align with our true selves. A study conducted by The Conference Board in 2019 found that approximately 53% of Americans reported being unhappy at work. A 2019 survey by Gallup found that only 32% of workers in the United States were engaged in their jobs. This means a huge swathe of the population is disengaged, unenthusiastic, just showing up and doing the bare minimum to catch a pay-cheque each month.

As we embark on this journey towards authenticity, let us remember that life is too short to settle for anything less than what sets our souls on fire. By questioning the influence of societal expectations, cultural norms, and external pressures, we can pave the way for a life that resonates with our deepest aspirations.

Personal Experience

When I was in college at around age 17/18, all my peers were talking about what their plans were after finishing studying, and asking me the same questions. It felt like around that time there was a lot of confusion about making the right choices, and everyone wanted to know what everyone else their age was doing.

Rockstar Dreams

Ever since I was 14 years old, I had my heart set on playing music. I envisioned a life of touring, sold-out shows, sports cars, living in a mansion with a swimming pool and a built-in cinema room. My passion for music grew throughout my teenage years, and eventually, I joined a band that embarked on numerous tours across the UK and Europe. We weren’t living the high life as I had imagined yet, but I felt I was getting closer to my goal. At the age of 20, we even signed our first record deal. However, just before the release of our first album, the band split due to differing goals amongst certain members.

At A Crossroads

At age 21, I found myself at a crossroads, questioning what I wanted to do next. It was a difficult realisation to come to terms with, especially since my entire world had revolved around music for the past five years. With countless possibilities and the weight of making a decision, I couldn’t help but feel like a failure compared to some of my peers. Despite these challenges, I continued making music as an independent artist, occasionally playing cover gigs to support myself financially. But something about playing other people’s music sit right with me.

Deep Dive To Find Purpose

In the fall of 2018 I attended a digital marketing weekend workshop in Kent. It was here I was introduced to affiliate marketing, selling digital products, and content marketing, amongst other things. I met other people who were very successful in this field, which opened my eyes to what was possible. I was growing tired of my routine in the UK and was craving a new environment. So, I decided to embark on a working holiday visa to Australia in the Summer of 2019. I was doing a lot of soul-searching during this time in Australia. I met a life coach who I ended up working with for 3 months. We did weekly zoom calls together and the exercises we did during those weekly sessions helped me gain a lot of clarity on the sort of dream life I wanted to create.

Embracing Clarity and Purpose

While working a sales job in Melbourne, I was listening to Grant Cardone’s book, “Be Obsessed or Be Average,” when I learned the power of brainstorming each morning. Brainstorming gets all the ideas in your head out on paper. Some of them will be rubbish, but the ones you see popping up again and again are the ones you need to pay attention to. Without clearly defined goals, you risk drifting aimlessly, lacking direction and purpose.

Going Freelance

In 2021, I took the digital marketing skills I had been learning over the past 3 years and started my own freelance marketing business. This journey has been a constant learning curve, filled with challenges and obstacles to overcome. Building a business forces you to learn so many new skills other than just the service the business provides to the customer. I found myself delving into areas such as finance, project management, client communication, and networking. It is a transformative process that challenges you to learn and grow in ways you never imagined.

How to Get Clarity in Your Life?

Work backwards

One exercise that was really helpful in getting clarity in my life was to work backwards. Picture yourself as a 90-year-old, sitting on your porch in a rocking chair. Look around and ask yourself: What surrounds you? What accomplishments fill you with pride? What people are you with? This exercise helps us align our present actions and choices with the life we envision, guiding us towards a path of purpose and fulfilment.

Brainstorming

If you want to tap into that deep well of creativity and find out what truly lights your soul on fire, there’s only one way to do it: journaling and brainstorming every damn day. I’m telling you, it’s like a direct line to your innermost thoughts and passions. It’s the surefire way to gain absolute clarity on what really matters to you. And let me tell you, when you start putting pen to paper, when you let those ideas flow freely, that’s when the magic happens.

Goal Setting

Goal setting is an essential exercise to pave the path for success. Begin by setting short-term goals, achievable within a few weeks or months, to provide immediate motivation and a sense of accomplishment. Next, focus on medium-term goals, extending from several months to a couple of years, which require consistent effort and commitment to propel you further along your journey. Lastly, envision long-term goals that encompass your ultimate aspirations, allowing you to create a roadmap towards your desired future.

Connect with People

Once you have an idea of the kind of life you want to create, find other people in your space and reach out to them. Ask them what it’s like to work in their industry. How does their average day look like? Ask about the challenges they face, the skills they find most valuable, and any advice they have for someone starting out. Connecting with people already immersed in the industry will provide you with invaluable insights and perspectives. And this doesn’t just apply to work, it applies to everything else.

Cost/Benefit Analysis

When faced with challenging questions that seem to stump you, consider the advantages and disadvantages, weighing the potential gains against the potential losses. This process allows you to assess the potential benefits you may gain from a particular decision or action, while also considering any potential drawbacks or negative consequences.

Conclusion

As we embark on this journey towards authenticity, let us remember that life is too short to settle for anything less than what sets our souls on fire. By questioning the influence of societal expectations, cultural norms, and external pressures, we can pave the way for a life that resonates with our deepest aspirations. With clarity, goal setting, and the support of like-minded individuals, we can create a life aligned with our true selves and experience the fulfilment we deserve.

Thanks for reading.

-Sam Horton