How to Stop Caring What Other People Think: A Guide to Overcoming Social Pressure
Do you ever find yourself worrying about what others think of you? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us grapple with the fear of rejection and the desire to fit in. In this article, I’ll share my journey of overcoming this, and offer some insights on how to stop caring so much about what others think.
The Evolution of Social Pressure
Social pressure is normal; most of us feel it to some degree, unless you’re a complete psychopath. A few hundred years ago, doing what was needed to keep our place in the tribe was necessary for our survival, and it got humanity to this point. If you did something that upset anyone in your tribe, you could have been killed or outcast, which likely meant you’d be eaten by a wild animal or killed by another tribe.
Fast forward to today, and while the consequences may not be as extreme, the desire to fit in and avoid conflict is still deeply rooted in us.
The Three Stages to Stop Caring What Others Think
Stage 1: Acceptance of Social Wiring
Accepting that the desire to fit in is hardwired into our brains is the initial step. Understanding that fear is a natural response, often indicating that we’re stepping out of our comfort zones, is crucial. Embracing fear, rather than letting it control us, opens the door to growth and opportunities.
Stage 2: Embracing Unpopularity
It’s impossible to please everyone, and that’s okay. Internalising the fact that not everyone will like you is liberating. Trying to win over every person only leads to a disingenuous representation of yourself, hindering the attraction of genuine connections. Setting your own frame and attracting those who resonate with your values is key to long-lasting happiness.
Stage 3: Knowing Yourself
Self-awareness is a powerful tool. Understanding your strengths and weaknesses allows you to play to your strengths, which gives you an edge over your competition, positioning you with the best chance of success.
There is a belief that we should work on our weaknesses, and although this is important to becoming a well-rounded individual, if you want to be competitive in a certain area, playing to your strengths is the best way to succeed.
The Danger of Silence
Holding back your true thoughts may mean hiding your greatest gifts from the world. This self-censorship can prevent you from contributing fully to the world and sharing your greatest gifts. Some individuals are afraid of being emotionally exposed or appearing weak. Or have developed the habit of constantly comparing themselves to others, combined with the tendency of perfectionism, this creates a fear of not measuring up.
There is a famous quote by the American poet and philosopher Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. The complete quote is:
“Most people go to their graves with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.”
The saying explores the notion that many individuals may not fully express or realise their true potential, passions, or talents during their lifetimes because they are waiting for the perfect moment. There is rarely going to be a perfect moment, apart from right now!
Sharing your unique gifts and your truth takes more bravery than conforming to social pressure. This can be challenging but will set you on a journey that is meaningful and can have a positive impact on society.
Safeguarding Against Censorship
In the age of the internet and social media, the challenge of censorship has become an increasingly complex issue that we have grappled with since the launch of these digital platforms.
Governments also can often play a significant role in censoring freedom of speech. This can involve enforcing laws that limit the expression of certain ideas or criticisms of the government. The extent of censorship differs across countries.
The level of media freedom is a key indicator of the state of free speech in a country. The media landscape in North Korea is highly controlled and tightly regulated by the government. The state exercises strict censorship, and the media primarily serves as a tool for spreading government propaganda and promoting the official ideology of the ruling regime.
Speaking your truth plays a crucial role in safeguarding against censorship and corruption, and the ability to express yourself freely is a privilege that should not be taken for granted. The act of speaking your truth can inspire others to do the same, and it creates a ripple effect.
Embrace Your Tribe
Once you embrace living authentically and speak your thoughts freely, you’ll start attracting your tribe—people who share your views and appreciate you for who you truly are. The journey involves accepting your social wiring, letting go of the need to please everyone, and building a strong foundation of self-awareness. So, know yourself, accept yourself, and watch as you attract the right people into your life.
Thanks for reading, everyone!
Sam Horton